No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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