Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
