Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
