Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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