There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
