Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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