i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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