Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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