I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
