Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
