why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
