I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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