So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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