This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
