apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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