I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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