and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
