how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
