she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
