I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize