You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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