I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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