Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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