There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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