There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
