walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
