Christians are straight up FREAKS
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
there is glitter all over my balls
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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