I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
