Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
