Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
