I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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