Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize