You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Enjoy the penises
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
