That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
