Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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