The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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