It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you inspire me to be a worse person
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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