Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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