Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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