So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
