if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
