Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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