btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize