Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
