This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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