You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
