I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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