A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
