So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
