Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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