i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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