I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
