You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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