So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
