dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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