the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
