I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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