He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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